Tuesday, August 4, 2009

At Least Lane Bryant's Being Honest.

I didn’t even notice the size numbers until a friend pointed it out – I take it to mean that you're only half a woman if you're a "chubby." Not a “chubby girl” or even a “chubbette.” They're all lumped (pardon the phrase) under a completely sexless monicker which when pluralized sounds like fuzzy, big-eyed characters that would have romped around cartoon forests in the 80s. Possibly advertising candy.
They could have put in more effort with this girl. Her waist is a bit thick and I think I see a double chin, but appendagewise, come on.
I like how “regular sizes” is in quotation marks. You can just hear the stick-thin saleslady saying that in a stage whisper that with a painfully fake wink to Chubby And Mother.
Call me harsh, but I appreciate how up front they are here. You’re too chubby to fit into “regular sizes." They’re not passing judgement here; just stating it. Even "regular" is relative here (those shrewd, double-duty quotation marks.)
Nowadays you’re PLUS something or EXTRA something – but it’s for now.
Until you come to your senses and realize that Plus and Extra still mean Chubby, and that you need to save yourself before you go the way of Keirstie Alley.
Based upon this ad and my viewing of Hairspray (all three), I can only surmise that this was the Chubbie coiffure of choice. I guess the flip outs draw the eye away from the hips. Or would that make it worse?

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